I know for me this time last week I was still unsure of what to do or what was going on and certainly didn’t know what to do for the best. I did a bit of panic shopping and I mean ‘panic’ shopping (read silly shopping) I hunted high and low for all the things I had been told by the media were in short supply – loo roll, pasta, rice. By the weekend I had 6 packets of long grain rice, 4 large packets of pasta, 12 loo roll, 30 eggs and not much else. So on Sunday I had to go out again and do some real shopping. By last Thursday I had heard about the looming lockdown but still didn’t take in the enormity of what this would mean. I was with my two youngest grandchildren on Monday and still didn’t take in that that was probably the last time I would see them for a good few weeks. Same with my mum who I saw last Tuesday and didn’t take in the fact that I probably won’t see her for 3 months now! I’m fortunate that my daughter and her son live upstairs so while we are all self-isolating we are operating as one household so I have contact with them regularly. One thing I have been certain of is how invaluable this time for ‘self’ is. I’m sure I’m not the only one who previously wanted to shout out ‘stop the world I want to get off’ – we were moving so fast! And we really never stopped; there was no let up from life. In my childhood days, shops closed by 6pm, were half day on Thursdays and only newsagents opened on a Sunday morning. Now if a shop is closed it generally means that it is closed down for good. With the internet nothing ever really shuts. In my childhood you would never call a house phone after 9pm and TV was all over by midnight. Now we get texts all through the night and TV is 24 hour too. No longer the 3 channels but 300+ channels and then there’s Netflix, Amazon Prime, Catch-up TV – we really are a City that never sleeps. So yes, secretly I was a little pleased for the downtime that self-isolation has demanded that we all take. Amongst my circle of friends I was one of the last to get to grips with social media, when Facebook first arrived I was sceptical however over the last few years and more so once I set up by own business – I have enjoyed the power of social media for its connections and exposure. So the go to place for me at the start of my self-isolation was social media. And it was bursting at the seams; people couldn’t post enough about everything and anything. There were jokes, memes, public health warnings, fake news, personal news, drama, thrillers, mystery and mayhem all pinging and posting in quick succession. Then as if people all received a simultaneous memo – came the KINDNESS in abundance, everyone who was anyone was offering their support ‘I’ll pick up your shopping/prescription’ or you can borrow my…. And so it goes on, people offering FREE access to their webinars, classes, expertise. Tips on home-schooling, home videos of family meals to make in the slow cooker, and now people sharing stories of their battle with COVID-19 explicit stories along with the not so kind posts. It’s sad but true, that as a human race, we just can’t keep it up – we just can’t seem to truly come together,and ALL be kind, ALL be nice. You will hear people say ‘there’s always one’, but I think there’s always more than one. You could ignore one, but what tends to happen is that that one person with their unkind remark, ignites the touch paper in others and gives them permission to join in and then go on to create their own little army of unkind words. I think social media has brought so many advances to our world, it has created connections, opened doors, uncovered lies, created truths – in a nutshell it is and continues to be a great platform for a myriad of opportunities and learning. We however are not so complex our brains are malleable and without the opportunities for real human connections, eg going to work, seeing our friends and neighbours, for some - social media becomes their reality. And as there are no filters, no consequences, no real rules about what can and can’t be said. People freely and openly make judgement, sexist, racist and hurtful comments and an over saturation of this type of behaviour is certainly not good for My soul. So I have taken the decision that I need to limit my exposure to social media so that I can protect and preserve my well-being. This is not a total ban, just a more structured and boundaried approach. One hour in the morning, and an hour in the evening. You see as a Life Coach I am acutely aware of this barrage of information on my senses. I am concerned that I am not emotionally processing all that I am consuming and to that end this information roams uncensored in my mind, infiltrating my thoughts, clouding my judgements and inadvertently skewing my judgement on reality. Most importantly taking me away from the one thing I have looked forward to – Time for Self. I want this time, to plan, update my content, prepare new opportunities for ‘connections’. You see I really think this is the ‘Calm before the storm’ I really think this is the ‘forming stage’ before the storming and then ‘norming stage’. I really think that in the next 3 or 4 weeks some people are going to need my support. Some people are going to want to make sense of what they have experienced and are experiencing. Some people are going to find themselves at a crossroads – be it their marriage, their choice of career, their friendships, their purpose. Some people will be seeking answers, clarity and direction and I want to be ready to do what I do best, do what I enjoy, do what people need from me, carry out my calling in life – help others find clarity, Coach others so that they can live the life they deserve, help others so they can find their WHY?. In 3 to 4 weeks the novelty will have worn off, we may be on the downward side of the ‘curve’ people will have experienced their 1st month without their salary/payments. The reality for most will not be panic buying but panic because they can’t afford to buy. People will have to make the decision to give up on their hopes/dreams, people will start to see the cracks in their marriages/relationships, they will begin to notice their children and their parenting styles, people will close the doors on their business, they will have to cancel that holiday or return that new car, they will start to notice their lives and ask questions and when this happens – they may turn to family and friends, but often these people are too close to provide objectivity, often their love overrides their ability to be honest. And so people will mull over their issues in their head, but finding clarity may be difficult without professional support. I also believe that for the majority the calm after the storm will bring new opportunity and those who are emotionally and physically ready will meet this new era Head on and ‘Fly’. So I’m self-isolating from Social Media, not fully - just boundaried so that I am ready for the next phase. I will be writing regular blogs, and you can catch me on my fortnightly radio show at www.hsparks.co.uk Styleutions She-Ros Wednesdays at 8pm. I will still be doing my daily tips for’ coping during self isolation’ on Instagram @styleutions and daily updates for my wonderful women in the Styleutions Women’s Circle (on facebook) . Please connect with me on any or all of those forums. Until we read again, why not try something new, - I’d love to hear about it Bash x #payitforward
